Oh My....

It's sad to admit that the best thing I have to talk about this week is the Granite Peaks Community Education catalog, but I have been cracking myself up for days over this thing. So, I recently received this catalog with community classes in it and began perusing my options. At first, I thought that maybe they'd have some cool Excel class (nerd alert) or maybe a fun dance class or something, instead I was amazed at the mysteries that unfolded as I began thumbing through the pages.

Here are some of my favorites, complete with class descriptions (mind you, I don't know who wrote these, but they don't really "sell" you on the classes. Don't mind my comments, but I couldn't help but include the peanut gallery in this post.

I started out with this one.
*Fencing (okay, first of all, I heard those chics on TV during the Olympics. It was embarrassing me and I was at home eating Cheetos on my couch. What's with all the screeching and yipping?)
Ever dream that you could go back in time to the days of chivalry? (NO! Why would anyone dream this? Seriously? They stabbed each other for nothing only later to "avenge" someone or others death, yada yada. How many people poke themselves with those swords. Now that's funny.)

Next, I came across this, surprisingly enough.
*Medieval Swordsmanship (I'll take S words for 100, please. Also noteworthy, these classes are located in entirely different places in the catalog. That means that they occupy more than one genre of activity and that terrifies me.)
Learn the beginnings of sword, dagger, and grappling (what the crap?) techniques through rigorous calisthetics.... (Okay, comments from the peanut gallery. First of all, there's a reason no one uses swords anymore. The last time I checked, the pirates weren't aboard, and eye patches weren't in style. Next, the words grappling and calisthetics should not be used in the same sentence.)

This is ..... Interesting...
*Forkbending (no joke, this is actually a class being offered right now and you have to pay for it. If your silverware is anything like some of mine, my forks bend just fine on their own, and I have to bend them back.)
Boost your confidence and self-esteem while learning some fun and effective Emotional Freedom Techniques. Let your "inner child" out to play...(someone is bound to lose an eye. I'm sure of it. Maybe they should contact the Medieval swords people.Puffy shirts and eye patches for everyone.)


Who you gonna call?
*Ghostbusters
Want to get spooked? (Not Really) Looking for evidence or information about supernatural or paranormal activity? Flashlight required. Go on-site to various locations... (okay, I'll stop there. There are no words...)

Okay, as the list goes on, I have to make a note. By this point we were laughing pretty hard and our vision must have been blurred by the tears in our eyes because the following class was found.


*Blue Dart... I mean Balloon Art. (Beau and our bro in law were reading this and he thought he said Blue Dart. His response was, "They have a class for that?")
Begin with the basic twist and pinch.... (hahaha. Okay, I'm done.)

Anyway, you can all check this thing out for yourselves, because there are many more classes to be enjoyed than what we have listed.

Granitepeaks.org